Love comes first, then marriage. This is the major concept followed by many of us, but in reality, you must consider several other parts to thrive in a healthy relationship. In the beginning, you may feel secure and safe when you fall in love with your partner. Later, your lover may start to gain control over you for all the activities. Have you ever missed out on time with friends and family or has your lover gotten angry when you spent more time with others? If yes, you are experiencing emotional and physical abuse which is also known as love bombing. Let’s dive into a detailed look at love bombing, its signs, stages, and how to heal it.
What is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is gaining control over someone using grand gestures. It may involve excessive praise, intense talk about your future, showering you with unwanted gifts, and overcommunicating your feelings. Love bombing is mostly recognized in romantic partners and can happen intentionally or unintentionally.
A Few Love Bombing Signs You Should Be Aware of
Your partner understood and cared for you well during the love bombing stage. However, your family and friends may worry about seeing your new love act obsessively and move too quickly. Here are some signs of love bombing to consider:
1. Offers You Gifts
Exchanging gifts in a relationship is a token of affection. Some gifts include international airline tickets, car payments, designer clothing, and more. However, this may also turn against you later. Your love bomber will say, “I paid your rent, so don’t blame me like that” or “I bought you food, so you owe me some other thing.”
2. Compliment You Well
Constant praise stands as another sign of love bombing. If your lover expresses their admiration within a short time, their feeling is not genuine. A few top phrases they use include ‘You’re the only person I like to spend time with,” “I love everything about you,” and “I have never met anyone as perfect as you.”
3. Lock Things Down
Love bombers talk easily about their fantasies and are interested in introducing you to family members and friends. They want to build a sense of commitment and intimacy faster. They easily say you are their soulmate.
4. Over Communication
Apart from grand gestures and expensive gifts, your day-to-day overcommunication is another sign of love bombing. Your partner may check on your frequent activities when they are not around. They also overdo things sometimes, and it can get more intense later.
5. Demanding Your Attention
Your lover depends more on you for time, comfort, and other commitments. When your relationship builds, they become more aggressive with you and jealous of your other friends. They compel you to choose between them and your other close ones.
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Stages of Love Bombing
There are three stages of love bombing: idealization, devaluation, and discard.
1. Idealization
You may be showered with gifts and other compliments. It makes you feel so happy and excited about your relationship.
2. Devaluation
You feel more comfortable at this stage, but you will notice red flags soon. Your partner asks about your time or gets angry if you do not spend time with them. They also question you and convince you that there is nothing wrong on their side.
3. Discard
In this stage, you can establish healthy boundaries with your partner. They will avoid accountability, and refuse to break up or compromise with you. Also, your partner tries to convince you and rebuild the relationship.
How to Heal from Love Bombing?
It might be painful to stay in an abusive relationship. Follow the below tips to deal with love bombing:
- Set boundaries for your independence.
- Politely refuse the gifts from your partner.
- Ending your relationship provides you with mental peace.
- Communicate clearly how you feel about it.
- Take time to deal with the situation.
Love bombing is more focused on getting to know everything about you quickly. It can be difficult to spot, but easier to see when the other person is playing with your emotions. If you are more stressed about your partner's behavior, talk to a trusted family member, friend, or mental therapist who can help you.
